Yesterday Zoe came back to Fuhua, we talked to her for really long, and we took Polaroids too, using her cool camera. I guess girls are, at heart, all the same. And that is something that comforts me, I don't know why. Zoe's a huge inspiration to us all =)

I started thinking, a lot, after listening to what she said. Maybe I've been fooling myself into thinking that I'm getting better, but after yesterday it feels like someone tapped me on the shoulder and told me to look back. And I turn around to face a huge, bleak mess that I've been running away from before it consumes me. Now, having had stopped myself after such a long time of escapism, it feels like the past few months have never happened at all and I'm still the way I was from so long ago.

I need to move on. What the hell is wrong with me? Everyone keeps telling me things will be fine and despite the initial resistance, eventually I started telling myself the same thing too. But nothing's gonna happen unless I do something about it.

18 - 4 = 14, ): ? Screw it, I'm not going to care anymore. Why should I care, nothing will change. Why should I invest all my emotions into a dormant cause, nothing will change. Why should I even bother at all?

18 - 4 = 14. Those are 14 reasons why I need to get up and move on, and now I know. 14 reasons why I'm not good enough, 14 things I can't ever match up to. I was never good enough, what did I think? Why did I even hold onto such a belief, I'm so stupid.

This is an important year, and in so many ways. This week has gone, and I have 51 more weeks to go before the year is over. I'm going to make it all better. =)

This is me, unglam and living on 2 hours of sleep.

My name is Huien, I'm used to it but I don't like it, and I don't know why.

A lazy student, full-time. I am trying to promote my rank to being a full-time mugger.

Amongst my favourite things to do are eating, sleeping, writing, taking photos, reading and having a good time in general.

Things I adore:
(500) Days of Summer, 4 Blondes – Candace Bushnell, Boys Like Girls, Dreaming, Eating, Faber Drive, Japan, Just Listen – Sarah Dessen, Katharine McPhee, Legally Blonde 2, Lenka, Lock & Key – Sarah Dessen, Making April, Mayday Parade, McFly, Mean Girls, Memoirs of a Geisha, My Kiasu Teenage Life In Singapore – Ee Lin See, Paramore, Pink, Pizza, Reading, Sia Furler, Sleeping, Sudoku, Snow Flower and The Secret Fan – Lisa See, Stacie Orrico, Taking photos, Takoyaki, The Diary of a Young Girl – Anne Frank, The Host – Stephenie Meyer, The Incredibles, The Truth About Forever – Sarah Dessen, Writing, Yakuza Moon – Shoko Tendo, YUI

I also love my friends. They know who they are :) I'm a small small constituent of the Fuhua Shooting Club and Fuhua Prefectorial Council.

At the moment, I am (trying to) busy (myself) with:

Fuhua Orientation 2010
Fuhua Prom Night 2010
GCE O'Levels 2010
Dieting (I must burn off the fats I get from eating!!!)


My personality is a huge vault of contradictions. Some adjectives I use to describe myself include stubborn, sensitive, emotional, pessimistic, selfish and gluttonous. This is what I think, I don't know exactly what others might think of me. But basically, most people tend to think I'm a gossip queen. At least I admit to gossiping, unlike some lowbrows who gossip about people and act like they're so flawless and perfect and demure.

I often refuse to tell people in detail about the underlying causes behind my horrible moods because I believe that telling doesn't change anything. And I do not ever cry in public.

I can't think of what else to type, except that I really love to eat.

Today was the way first days of school typically are.

This morning in my bathroom I pinned up my fringe and looked at myself into the mirror and thought to myself, "It's back to the ugly days."

Duty in the morning, things were kind of disorganised. Met our new Form Teachers (namely Mr Fong and Mr Tan). Nominated class monitors and monitresses. I WAS BLATANTLY SNUBBED BY MR FONG WHEN I TRIED TO NOMINATE CHEEYUAN.

Mr Fong: Anymore nominations?
Me: CHEEYUAN! CHEEYUAN!
Mr Fong: -turns around to look at me- Huh?
Me: LET CHEEYUAN BE MONITOR!!
Mr Fong: What? -scrunches up his face in a mock I-can't-hear-you expression, turns and walks away-

Now our monitor's Kenny. The first time he shouted "Class stand!", Sally and I turned to see him smiling smugly to himself, he even said something like "Wa, 爽 ~"

Lessons, homework, then tuition. And then I got home. Did some of my homework.

I am now messaging TLZ.

Lizheng: Lol.you scared what?we also never rape girls.lol.i mostly never participate so much de.
Me: I where got scared or what. Whoever tries to rape me will have no Fathers' Day. Kick him in the balls man.

I should learn to not let one small thing destroy my day, it's not worth it. =) But this feels so terribly difficult to do.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

HIATUS!




No more posts until I learn to be happy for 7 days straight. =)

Fuck I feel very horrible now. But I also feel very happy HAHAHA. Ironic.

Ok.


Name: Lee Fong King
Aliases: Mr Lee, LFK, The King
DOB: Can't remember. I saw it on his Teacher's Pass once.
School: According to his Facebook - "University of IMH'08 Mental Problem, St Magaret Sec '48"
Personality: DAMN DAMN DAMN.. Funny. Like seriously LOL. Crappy. Lazy. Act cute. STINGY! But sometimes quite nice.

LOL CHEOWYI REMEMBER THIS PHOTO?

Omg, I have like a lot of stupid photos of LFK HAHAHAHAHA. I was talking to him on Facebook just now.

When Mr Lee first stepped into our class (1R3, in 2007), he stood there for 5 minutes and nobody stopped talking. Finally, he screamed, "ENOUGH! I HAVE BEEN STANDING HERE FOR 5 MINUTES AND YOU ALL STILL CANNOT STOP TALKING!" He went on to establish his identity as "KING of this class", gesturing wildly, his hair drenched in sweat, fringe sticking to his forehead, and his shirt wet from said fluid. Sometimes, when Andrew gets on his nerves, he'll wave and swing his copy of The Whale Rider towards Andrew, stopping only inches before it reaches him and bellow, "I SMACK YOU THEN YOU KNOW AH!" LOL. Of course, he never does hit him.

There is so much to talk about LFK. He also once told us, "You all want to sleep in my class? FINE! But please wake up when Mdm Oen or Mr Phor walks past. Do you know Mdm Oen has not been giving me my bonus for the past (insert number) years already?"

LFK once made my day. It was in the range and he was talking about each of us. When he got to me he said that I'm charismatic! LOL. He also said that I would make a great Head Prefect (this obviously didn't happen, not even close). And he said that something bad must have happened to me in 2007 cos I was really quiet back then. And some other nice stuff. So happy!

Oh, Cheowyi and I once saw a picture of Mr Lee's son in his handphone. His son looks like Chunrong. LOLOLOL. Another dumb thing about LFK is that he always finds his own jokes very funny. He started calling Cheowyi "Cheowyee Mee" for no good reason and everytime he does, he'll smile and laugh to himself.

Okay la shall move on cos I want to finish this post quickly. I HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO! This may sound very stupid, but LFK is actually one of my favourite teachers in Fuhua (not that he is in Fuhua anymore, but still). It's so seldom you can get to have such fun with teachers, because they're always so uptight. But he's really candid and sometimes quite stupid (AHAHHAA) so we always.. bully him. I am laughing to myself now. Okay moving on.


Name: Chew Yunwei
Aliases: YW
DOB: 2nd October 1992
School: Bukit Timah Primary School, Tanglin Secondary School, Singapore Polytechnic
Personality: Awesome to her friends, hates being restricted.

Have not met Yunwei in.. 2 years already :(

I have known Yunwei since I was 4 and she's the longest friend I have. She's also my first jie :) Back when we were still kids and hung around the Pavillion, roaming and running around playing catching, she always stuck up for me and was on my side whenever Alex and my sis bullied me. As we grew older and became tweens, we always walked our dogs together in the evenings. By that point, our families started to dislike each other (it's complicated). She was also the first person to introduce me to music :) When she got to Sec 1 and started going out more (previously she could seldom go out cos her mum didn't let her), she started discovering places and in 2004 she told me, "I discovered a new place for shopping. Jurong Point!!" At that point of time it all seemed so fascinating and grown-up to me. I looked up to her a lot.

Somehow she thinks highly of me. I am really glad to have a friend like Yunwei :) Once I've gotten to secondary school and when we do talk, she'd say "Sure got a lot of guys jio you right", even though I was like sososo ugly in Sec1 (still am la HAHAHHA). So weird, it almost seems like she's the only one that thinks I'm pretty even though she's seen me looking horrendously unglam since I was a kid. Which is why I always find what she tells me genuine :)

Things were way simpler back then, when we were still kids. Those days are over now but I'm happy that we had them! :) I swear I will go out with Yunwei this year. Now that I am done writing, I suddenly miss her a lot ):


Name: Teng Cheowyi
Aliases: Cheowpok, Cheowyee Mee, Pokpok
DOB: 8th May 1994
School: Princess Elizabeth Primary School, Fuhua Secondary School
Personality: Cannot remember who it was, but someone once told me she resembles a sotong. She is easily prone to laughter. Sweet =)

First of all - nice photo right??? >:D

Have spent many hilarious moments with Cheowyi. We will laugh at Zhang's rolls of fats, poke LFK with a screwdriver (please refer to first photo), talk about 可爱女人, Queen and etc.

Have also spent a few sad moments with Cheowyi. Like that time I cried at SAFRA, everyone else was staring at me, Cheowyi and Soksan were the first ones to ask me what's wrong and if I was okay (well mainly cos they were standing around me but still). A lot of people continued to stare at me, it was so embarrassing, and then Darren Teo came over and passed me a pack of tissues. That day was one of the worst, ever, but I'm so glad to have had people like them there :) Oh yeah and also, on a few occasions where Cheowyi was sad. I always didn't know the right things to say or do.

I JUST REALISED SOMETHING - CHEOWYI I BOUGHT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR YOU LAST YEAR BUT ALL OF IT IS STILL IN MY HOUSE?!?!?! That time I think I didn't tell you what it was cos I wanted to surprise you but aiya but now it's like how belated already? 7 months. Anyway it's a box of full of purple items.

Hate going for training without Cheowyi, because it'll always be so boring. Cheowyi is a talent in Shooting, and Darren Teo once said that Cheowyi's body is like, I quote, "a tripod". HAHAHA

Zhang always remembers Cheowyi but not me, whenever she sees Cheowyi she'll say stuff like "为什么怎么久没有来练了 ?!", "去射十发，射完了拿来给我看!!" Then she'll turn to me and give me the "Are-you-a-Sec-1" look or "You-are-such-a-noob-and-I-can't-be-bothered-with-you" face. Zhang doesn't know how to pronounce Cheowyi's name and always calls her Chiao-yee.



I NEED TO DO MY HOMEWORK NAOZXZ

Labels: friends